


Never Alone

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey, Jupiter (Band), Versailles (Band)
Genre: Adorable, Christmas Eve, Christmas Tree, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 11:24:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2810435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He'd thought for sure he'd be alone this year, but it seemed that was not to be the case in the end. Slim arms wrapped around him and it was all he could do not to melt into the embrace with a sigh of relief.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vampirehydeftw](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=vampirehydeftw).



> For direngrey_yaoi Winter Gift Exchange 2014. [Inspiration](https://33.media.tumblr.com/81b8b1b8242f117e887ee3508df69220/tumblr_naz1g8mZLb1rjdgmbo3_250.gif) and... [oh how lovely](http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/90/be/e2/90bee298b8dd22a7b336d73d0287466d.jpg)!  
> Beta Readers: sakura_ame  
> Song[s]: "Yokan (2004 re-construct)" by Sakurai Atsushi

The air outside was cold against his skin, the smattering of snowflakes falling from the sky pressing wetly against him as he walked through the crowded streets. The air of romance was abundant in the various shoppers and couples out for their annual Christmas Eve dates. To Shinya, the day was nothing but a bane. This was the eighth year in a row that he'd been unable to find someone to be with during the holiday season. Though, admittedly, that was in part because of what he was hiding from the world as a whole. Girls kept asking him out, but he turned them down left and right, uninterested in their advances or what they had to offer. For a while, he'd played at being straight as an arrow, keeping up pretenses and lying to himself and the world about his sexuality. But he'd tired of it after yet another spat with a girlfriend over his lack of interest in anything beyond cuddling with her and the fact that they'd found some trace of his porn interests. 

It always ended the same way for him. Every single time. Date a girl, shower them in affection and gifts, do his best to buy their mouth staying closed on the fact that he wouldn't sleep with them unless absolutely forced into it... and then watch as everything crashed and burned around him once they found out. Deny, deny some more, try to claim something absurd as the reason for the porn, and then watch them walk out the door no matter how much he'd done to try to keep them there. It grew tiresome over time and finally, he'd given up on it. Until he was out of the public spotlight, he knew he was just destined to remain alone. He'd occasionally invite a girl out to dinner one time, make it clear it was a single occurrence, just to give himself someone new to talk to... and then never call her again. But that, too, had grown into something he hated to do. It was mean to them, in the end, and he couldn’t bring himself to keep doing it.

But nights like tonight, he almost regretted such decisions. Everyone around him had someone, even the most awkward of people had gotten together for the holidays just to say they had someone to share it with... and here he was, someone no one would suspect would be alone, wandering down the streets of Tokyo in a haze of his own emotions. It was really quite pathetic, he realized as he turned off the main street and headed into the mall. At least, he could go get something to share with his family tomorrow... a cake or something like that.

Forcing a small smile onto his lips, he pushed the hood of his puffy white coat back and stepped into the shopping center, pushing a hand through his blonde hair in an attempt to get it out of his face. His thoughts turned a bit brighter as he realized it would be two years today since he finally admitted the truth to his family and they hadn't turned him away because of it. So many people didn't have that luxury... so many got tossed out on their ear by their mother and father, brothers and sisters... and he hadn't been. They'd simply smiled and told him they cared about him and they were glad he'd trusted them with the information... and nothing had changed for him in the end. They all treated him the same and he'd just felt a bit lighter with someone knowing. 

It had been nearly eight months from then that he'd finally told Die, Masashi, and a few select other friends. They'd accepted it just as well as his parents had, though naturally with a bit more smiles and a bit of gentle ribbing from Die. It hadn't been the mean-spirited kind, just the sort that made Shinya blush and refuse to answer. But later on down the line, Die had tossed an off-handed confession of his own Shinya's way and the ribbing had been returned two-fold until Die had turned the color of a lobster and they'd ended up laughing so hard they'd nearly fallen off the guitarist's couch.

So... even if he was alone today - of all days - at least he had friends and family around him that accepted him. Maybe the world as a whole wouldn’t, but some small fraction of it did and that was more than he felt he could have asked for when he'd first started telling people.

Turning the corner, Shinya paused, leaning against the railings of a small set of stairs. In front of him was a huge white plywood tree, various strands of crystal draped over it and dangling from the branches. The lights from above hit it just right to make the entire walkway glimmer with it. He smiled to himself, not having realized why he'd headed here until just that moment. This installment had been here since 2010 and he'd loved it every single time he happened across it. It was beautiful beyond all measure and he enjoyed simply standing beneath it like this, watching the dancing lights until his feet tired of remaining in one place too long. 

Music drifted through the center, people talking in hushed voices as if this area were somehow reverent enough to warrant such a thing, leaving the music able to be distinguished. His fingers tapped out the faint beat of the drums from the background of the song as he gazed at the slowly turning display, finding the faint clink of the crystals beneath the steady sound of music and voices. Something like relaxation slid through his body and he just stood there, watching... and waiting. He wasn't sure what he was waiting on, but for some reason the world held that distinct air for the moment.

Minutes ticked by and finally, Shinya straightened himself from the railing, removing his gloves and tucking them into his pockets in preparation for finding a store that sold the adorable little cakes this time of year. No sooner had he taken a single step than a voice from right behind him, quietly said his name.

"Shinya..."

Turning slightly, curiosity sliding through him at who had actually noticed him. Fan? Friend? Perhaps one of his cousins he didn't get to see often? A true smile slid over his lips as he took in who it was standing just behind him. "Hey!" he offered brightly, a little tilt of his head belaying his interest in finding Masashi here... or rather, the bassist finding him here.

A brief flash of anxiety crossed the bassist's face, though it was shoved down rather quickly and replaced by a small smile. He pushed the black frames of his glasses back up his nose a bit, his jaw clenching and then unclenching a few times before he finally swallowed thickly and stepped closer to Shinya, nearly into the drummer's personal space. "I'm just going to do this... regardless of how it turns out in the end. Know I have the best of intentions... and I'm not joking." With that, he quickly took one last step, bringing him nearly flush with Shinya as he reached up and lightly cupped the other's cheek, pressing his lips ever so faintly to the drummer's own. He pulled back hastily and stood there, looking nearly as though he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole.

Everything happened so quickly that Shinya found himself standing there in complete shock for at least a twenty count before he could actually react. Masashi's words sank in, repeating that he wasn't joking and he had the best of intentions. It all added up in his head quite quickly, pairing with how the other had been acting around him since he'd made his confession to both him and Kamijo. 

Blind... he'd been fully and entirely blind to it. Shock wore off and Shinya let another smile slid onto his lips. "What do you say... we watch this tree for a while longer?" He settled with one hip against the railing and then reached for Masashi's hand, tugging him behind him and placing the bassist's hand on his hip, lightly stroking his fingertips with his own.

Masashi eased himself behind Shinya, wrapping both arms around him and placing his chin on the drummer's shoulder, relief obvious in his entire demeanor.

Shinya gazed up at the tree, the bassist's warmth enveloping him as he leaned back into the embrace. The genuine feeling of happiness slid over him. There was just something so right about such an easy confession... the lack of words, the gentle feeling of the other's lips upon his own. It was perfect in nearly every way.

He'd thought for sure he'd be alone this year, but it seemed that was not to be the case in the end. And for that... he was more than pleased. His fingers wrapped around Masashi's own and he squeezed lightly. "How about dinner?" The words were quiet... perhaps quieter than anyone else's around them. When the positive affirmation came from the other, Shinya was positive he could feel the ache within him ease up just the tiniest amount and he knew, for certain this time, that things were looking up from here.

**The End**


End file.
